What Matters…#03

What matters…

the Doctor? … Cerelac?….OR Right And Healthy Eating Habits!

the Kind of Diaper Pants?… Walker?… Teether?… OR The Right Use of it !

which Kindergarten?… OR Right Method Of Teaching! 

the Board?… College?…. OR The Management!

any Classes?… OR The Interest And Effort!

the Stream?… OR Dedication!

Job Profile?… OR Contentment!

Arrange Marriage?… Love Marriage??… OR Fulfillment!

Why are we so lost in the whole process of so many choices to choose from? why is that we are forgetting to get our basics right?

I realized (hopefully not very late),

It is not the tangible things that will bring about a difference, but intangible things cultivated throughout my child’s life span will bring a difference with our effort as parents and guardian.

As a parent I choose to nourish the roots with values, manners, build  character, teach to be more kind, calm, respectful, helpful, know various culture, rich traditions, build faith and trust, instill positivity , family system , inculcate a sense and appreciation for beauty around and most important teach-


However, it is  disheartening at times  to see my child still fretting, fuming, screaming, aggressive, lazy, stubborn, hoarder and many things which no mother or guardian would teach the child to be.

But there is always a way to make things more beautiful and wonderful, that is if we really want to.This beauty and joy, we found in BALA VIHAR( it is a part of CHINMAYA MISSION). Yes my dear fellow parents, it’s purely fun, positivity, vibrance, goodness, so much of pleasantness.

So what is BALA VIHAR ?

Bala – Children
Vihar – means a place to stay / dwell
Bala Vihar means a place for children to be ,where in the right values are given ( with the help of the scriptures).

As we go, the class begins with reciting hanuman chalisa, teacher tells a short story ( could be on God, on any upcoming festival or some value). Children ( 04- 11years)  are given  worksheets to colour. In Bala Vihar,  A  for ASPIRATION, B for BROTHERHOOD,  C for CLEANLINESS is taught. 

It is an interactive class, also recite mantras, sing and learn bhajans. My 05year old child  looks forward to attend the classes, he calls it OM classes. As teachers, volunteers, children greet each other with Hari Om! Every child feels special and wanted, every child is given a sweet at the end of  the class.

As a  parent I suggest all my fellow parents:

 As we take an extra effort to send our kids to dance,guitar , sports or whatever classes. I appeal to each one of you all to send your child to Bala Vihar, why? because I see all the other efforts in vain without Bala Vihar, one has to be there to experience it. I send my child because he enjoys going, he looks forward going, I see positive difference in my child, my child and I see a lot more beauty and appreciation around us, Hari Om!


( I must share this, I have told my child whenever he sees me getting angry, just ask me to say HARI OM, and same applies to him . Oh boy! It works:)Never forget – children are real copycats. So we must watch our actions and words first.)

And yes!  it will not make your child baba ( as in monk) and it is not meant only for certain Hindus or any particular community, all are welcomed with open arms. The aim of CHINMAYA MISSION is to create maximum happiness for maximum people for maximum time! That is if you really CHOOSE TO!

Parent’s Dilemma#02

….As a parent I too faced dilemmas like….

which child specialist doctor should I take my child??which cerelac to serve at what age????                            which kind of diaper pants would be most comfortable for my child???                                                                            which walker and teether is safest for my child???( and the first time mommies,LOL, don’t ask! Me too by the way).

Now it gets a bit more serious like, ( it’s like make or break for my child ha!!! hehe).

which kindergarten I should send my child??? (local or established)

which board my child should study??? ( icse, cbse, state ,ib, and so many more, phew!!!)

what? where? and which? classes my child  would go- dance, sports, music, drawing? ( what’s trending, may be guitar classes, cool!!).

And some more dilemmas continue like,( now bit more complex ones).

which stream should my child choose???

which college???

what job profile???

then arrange marriage or love???

…….and on… and on… and on…..

The saga continues.

My dear fellow parents it’s obvious we all want the best of the best for our children, at all the stages of their life. We as parent make an effort to give all the necessary, in fact more than necessary facilities to our child that they get better future than us.

There is tuitions, classes for academics ( intellectual assistance), varied classes for creative development of child ( polishing their skills) ,  sports activities (physical growth). All these  facilities we are providing as their guardian so that they would perform at best of their abilities in whatever they do. But in this hustle bustle, among intellectual development, physical activity and creative skills, are we missing on something?

Yes! we are. Thats their MIND! Before I go further, following is the basic  meaning given by oxford dictionary of intellect and mind-


the faculty of reasoning and understanding objectively, especially with regard to abstract matters.

the element of a person that enables them to be aware of the world and their experiences, to think, and to feel.

So friends how do we understand the MIND?

 Is it  to be assumed that everyone does think, feel and understand but the question here is  ‘are we understanding it in the right perspective for a positive growth’.



(…to be continued in next blog.)


Child Growth#01

ROOTS signify STRENGTH.Strength of child depends mainly on what manure he/ she has been nourished with. The environment of a child in his growing years plays a very crucial role. 

WINGS signify LIMITLESS POSSIBILITIES. That surely we all wish for our children,but without firm roots all the possibilities seem to hold no value.

Let us first be clear with the concept of strength and get a bit more deeper meaning of it. I asked couple of friends what is their personal definition of strength.  I got varied answers, few of them were-
Strength is…..
…..inner power to fight against all odds!
……ability to withstand pressure!
…..freedom, inner voice, truth, confidence, affection, knowledge, good health!
……grace under pressure!
…..God,Family, Friends, Kids!
……is about mental strength and not merely physical!
To me Strength is …..
…….speaking when wrong is said or done. Strength is to rise as an optimist amongst world full of pessimist. Strength is fighting with your undying faith for goodness and beauty of life . Strength is courage to be yourself. Patience, balance and calmness is strength. Strength is being true to myself. Strength is owning the every flaws, goods, bads, mistakes , every action of mine. 
Your strength is what builds you or breaks you in this journey of life.

Let us quickly go through as to what the science of early childhood development .
The science of early brain development can inform investments in early childhood. These basic concepts, established over decades of neuroscience and behavioral research, help illustrate why child development—particularly from birth to five years—is a foundation for a prosperous and sustainable society.
Brains are built over time, from the bottom up.Early experiences affect the quality of that architecture by establishing either a sturdy or a fragile foundation for all of the learning, health and behavior that follow. 

In the proliferation and pruning process, simpler neural connections form first, followed by more complex circuits. The timing is genetic, but early experiences determine whether the circuits are strong or weakThe interactive influences of genes and experience shape the developing brain.

Scientists now know a major ingredient in this developmental process is the “serve and return” relationship between children and their parents and other caregivers in the family or community. 

The brain’s capacity for change decreases with age.
The brain is most flexible, or “plastic,” early in life to accommodate a wide range of environments and interactions, but as the maturing brain becomes more specialized to assume more complex functions, it is less capable of reorganizing and adapting to new or unexpected challenges.

Cognitive, emotional, and social capacities are inextricably intertwined throughout the life course.

Emotional well-being and social competence provide a strong foundation for emerging cognitive abilities, and together they are the bricks and mortar that comprise the foundation of human development. The emotional and physical health, social skills, and cognitive-linguistic capacities that emerge in the early years are all important prerequisites for success in school and later in the workplace and community.

Positive stress (moderate, short-lived physiological responses to uncomfortable experiences) is an important and necessary aspect of healthy development, toxic stress is the strong, unrelieved activation of the body’s stress management system. 

Policy Implication
A balanced approach (is questionable these days) to emotional, social, cognitive, and language development will best prepare all children for success in school and later in the workplace and community.
Supportive relationships and positive learning experiences begin at home but can also be provided through a range of services (here comes BALVIHAR CLASSES!!!!) with proven effectiveness factors. 

[Suggested citation: The Science of Early Childhood Development (InBrief). Retrieved from http://www.developing child.harvard.edu.]

( Cut to parent’s dilemma….in next blog post)

Note of Gratitude to My Reader Friends:)

Hello my dear reader friends.How are you guys doing? Me doing super. I feel glad and proud that I have made successful 10 posts, taa daa in span of 11months (which is an achievement for me guys). Woo hoo!! Thank you soooooo much for your time and support,it is encouraging. 

Thank you to all my friends who helped me in one way or the other, sometimes being my editor ,at times answering my questions, helping me get better. Bas ab ro padungee, ittee khusheeeeeeee.LOL.


I have this suggestion wherein  I  want your help, guidance , views,  thoughts to start this monthly series blog titled BEHNA ( sister) BLOGS. Wherein we talk just about anything and everything that matters to us. Just about whatever on earth. We can talk from anything  dead serious to just about any nonsense.


* Why is that men are called ‘male chauvinist pigs’?

*Why women are so obsessed with how they are looking?

*Why is that ‘ek aurat hee dusri aurat ki dushman hoti hai’ ( one woman is the enemy of another woman)?

*Why is the percentage of women so less in military in India?

*How the hell does nagin ( television series in India) get highest TRPs?

*Why is that recently senseless lyrics sell in Indian cinema?

Behna Chup Na Rehna ( sisters don’t stay quiet)!

Just flood in with questions, suggestions, discussions. Damn with every worry, judgments ,repercussions. Just pen down whatever!

To – bakkbakkingjay@gmail.com


I question alot. I reason alot, to find answers in my conquest to live my life more fully and more meaningfully.Question my intent, reactions,  words, action, inaction, change. Questiong is nothing but reasoning yourself, your thought process,  which in turn becomes your choices.It is INTENTIONAL LIVING,  meaning making choices for your life based on your greatest values,  not on the habits of others. Questioning the choices and choosing with a reason.Which you are solely responsible for.

‘Believe Nothing, No Matter Where You Read It Or Who Has Said It, Not Even If I Said it, Unless It Agrees With Your Own Reason And Your Own Common Sense’ I love this saying by Gautam Buddha. Humble and thought provoking.

                           To live is a beautiful thing in itself.  But as long as we live we must keep learning to live. Learning to grow, to rationalise, to prioritise, to have a perspective, to persist, to be thoughtful, to nurture,to believe,to aim, to rise above, to hold on, to let go, to stand up,  to look beyond. Learning to be a sport, to develop a healthy sense of humour, to be aware, to stay fit,to be balanced, to be polite,to be poised, to be patient, to reflect . Learning to be a more newer and more youer with every new dawn.To live in the best possible version of ourselves. I believe each one of us, are the most beautiful,  unique being created.  We rarely dare to delve within!!!        

                  Dare to be you!! ( upcoming blog).

                  So is living an art? Yes it is, I say. Art is beautiful, thoughtful , boundless, pleasant, hardwork, personification,  thought provoking and the art is artist himself. Your life should be your work of art and no one elses. Doesn’t matter how many flaws it has. The idea is to learn, grow, pick the best, move on to next level.We all are, our own artist in our own unique way painting the picture of our lives. Adding a little more beauty around in our own way. Just make sure the picture you paint is worth every choices you make in life. 

                      Rise and Shine with every better choices, with rational thinking. Own it. Live it. No regrets. More contentment. More happiness. Stay Blessed.Stay Joyful…. mwuahhh😘

(P.S. Reasons don’t really work when its emotions. For me also when its family and friendship .Also dieting doesn’t seem to work, when it’s blogging. I have been hogging mahnnn…for bloggginggg.. So much to thinkkk…even more to eattt.But it’s worth it😊)